Broken PC

My 5 year old pc broke down on me about a few days ago so I will not be posting again for quite some time. (I’m on my bf’s laptop right now) I’m in the process of getting parts together and building my own gaming pc. It’s a project I always wanted to do and now I have an excuse to do it. It’s funny how my old pc decided to die a few days after I got a job. Oh well.

Oh No! I Got A Job!

After over a year of being blissfully unemployed, I was picked up by Macy’s today as a sales associate for the men’s department. How fun. As much as I never wanted to work retail again, much less retail sales, I had to start really looking for employment, because due to American economy issues, my mother ever so politely threatened to turn off my internet and satellite if I don’t help out with bills…and I can’t have that happen. I whined to her about how I don’t want to work, then she asked me if I would like to live under a bridge…and of course I don’t.

Anyway Macy’s actually pays pretty decently for a retail store (in crappy paying Miami) with the addition of commission. If I like it enough I hope to stay the next three months. If it’s hell I don’t expect to stay more than a month… or two weeks. I’m thinking it wouldn’t be too bad because I’m in the mens department and men aren’t nearly as bitchy when it comes to shopping as women are, I’m sorry to say. In the past some of the worst customers I had were women. I hate working in any ladies department. Men tend to be calmer when shopping and making commission should be easy because all I have to do is smile nicely and they’ll throw their entire wallet at me. J/k… kind of.

But seriously being charming does help sales. For example, there was a time a guy got me to buy some stupid crap by subtly flirting with me (subtle meaning no audible comments but a lot of facial expressions and body language) and he happened to be extra extra sexy… and I happened to be single and on the prowl. When I got home I realized I didn’t even need the thing. I was stupefied by his hotness. Looks plus charm can win cash (or anything else) out of many people. People like to deny this but it’s a fact. Watch out for that good looking sales person. If they know how to use charm they’ll have you spending cash that doesn’t exist. But being approachable is usually the key in sales and people tend to approach me even when I don’t want to be bothered so I guess I’ll do okay. If I complain in the next two weeks of being unemployed just know that this didn’t work out.

Exotic Dancing

I am not an avid Real World watcher. I cannot name a season that I’ve actually watched all the way through. But the new season (Hollywood) has sparked somewhat of an interest in me and I intend on watching until I start forgetting of its existence. One of the Real World people, Brianna, reveals that she was an exotic dancer and it caused a couple people to look at here differently and it may cause people to disrespect her as a person in the future. I find it funny that people judge strippers/dancers that way. Even when they know nothing about them.

I know that not everyone knows better than to think negative when they meet an exotic dancer. I know when we don’t know someone well that we judge them in the fastest way we can: appearance, current attitude, and occupation. In Brianna’s case, her being an exotic dancer has caused people to make assumptions about her. Let me state that there are two kinds of exotic dancers: one takes all their clothes off, the other wears very sexy lingerie and costumes the whole time, sometimes topless. We do not know which Brianna is though many would like to assume the former, not that it matters either way. People like to assume the worse when it comes to strippers/dancers. These people usually never knew a dancer or only knew one that happened to be a bad representation of them.

I personally knew a little more than a couple of exotic dancers. I’m not going into details on how I know/knew them, but I will say that it is/was nothing more than just a job to them. Unfortunately in this world the fastest way for a woman to make the money that she needs now is through sex appeal. As the saying goes, sex sells…very, very well. People like to say the person just needs to get a job like the rest of us. Right… a job making $8/hr versus over $50/hr. Hmmm… To counter that, they would say the person should get an education in order to make proper money. Umm… two of the exotic dancers I knew were dancing their way through college. It was not a permanent occupation for them. It was their way of paying for expensive tuition and books. They told me many dancers that they knew were in fact college students. I know that this is not the case for everyone, however. Some are single mothers that need money now for their kids. Others are so broke and unable to get a regular job that they do it to pay the bills. Then there are the ones that like doing it and want to continue for as long as possible. They are very comfortable in their own skin and with their sexuality. In my opinion, there is a job out there for everyone and if they like dancing or stripping then who are we to judge? And if someone needs some cash to take care of them self then why look at them in a negative light? People want to judge, but no one is offering to put money in their hands and pay their bills. Unless you’re one of the men (or women) that go to these places, of course.

Exotic dancing does not always mean they are prostitutes despite popular belief. It doesn’t mean the person doesn’t have self respect. Yes, there are people that like to do a little extra for more money but that’s their business done on their own time. (Not that I think people that sleep with people for money are necessarily bad either. But that’s another story…) Exotic dancing does not equate to drug and alcohol abuse either, though there are those that do that too. Everyone has their issues no matter their occupation. Just because the person is an executive doesn’t mean that they don’t like to do a little coke. And there are a ton of people with great careers who like to smoke marijuana that you would never guess does. (Me and my boyfriend blazed with a couple…) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. My car was hit a couple years back by a very nice CEO of a small but expanding company. He took me to a place to get my car fixed (it was just a small crack) and while we waited outside he surprised me by rolling himself a blunt and offering me a hit. I politely declined because I don’t get high with strangers. My point is, stripping doesn’t necessarily equate to all things bad just like (x) career doesn’t necessarily equate to a squeaky clean image. Take a look at ex-governor Spitzer. I’m willing to bet he took his escorts with a side of marijuana. (hahaha).

Anyway, a couple of the exotic dancers told me that I would do very well as an exotic dancer. Unfortunately I do not have that kind of self confidence, nor can I dance well. If I could dance, then sure maybe I would try it; I doubt I would stay long though. But that’s the point isn’t it? Get what you need out of it and move on, unless you actually like it.

Kiss me, I’m Pro-Abortion

I’m pro-abortion. I want every single pregnant woman in the world to have an abortion whether they want to or not. /sarcasm

I cannot stand the use of the term pro-abortion, why? Because it’s WRONG. Or should I say people use it in the wrong context? I understand the pro-life cause and it’s nice and all that they want to push their idealistic beliefs on everyone, but nothing makes people sound stupider than when they use the term “pro-abortion” in replacement of pro-choice. I also occasionally hear people say “pro-killing babies.” Riiight… Let me stab my 1 year old niece a couple of times because I’m “pro-killing babies.”

Pro-abortion= for having abortions, which is ≠ to pro-choice. Pro-abortion can include people who want forced abortion for population control (Yes, there are people out there that believe in that), or forced abortion just for the hell of it. That is not pro-choice.

Is saying “pro-abortion” supposed to be a way cute way to stab at pro-choicers or are people really that stupid? Newsflash: Not all pro-choicers give choosing abortion their stamp of approval. What they agree with is letting the individual decide for them self what they want to do with their body and whatever’s growing in it. They are for people having control over their own lives. I’m pro-human extinction and not even I approve of all abortions or all reasons behind certain abortions (when I’m not on my pro-killing babies spree, of course), but it’s not my decision. I’m not the one that’s going to have to deal with it when it’s born.

I know it’s a sensitive issue and all, but that doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be stupid. Saying “pro-abortion” is like me saying pro-lifers are “pro-overpopulation” or “pro-teen pregnancy” or “pro-child abusers” or “pro-killing mothers” or “pro-rape” or “pro-drunken one night stands.”

Speaking of drunken one night stands, I find it funny that some people are pro-life until they find themselves pregnant from a one night stand or whatever else. I guess all their “morals” go out the window when it comes to themselves… or they suddenly gained a few I.Q. points (oops I didn’t say that).

But on the other hand, I just read a statement from a woman that was pro-choice until she actually gave birth, which is interesting. I guess she fell so much in love with her first child, it some how changed her mind. It made me wonder if I’ll change my mind if I give birth to a child…but I highly doubt it, because I don’t change beliefs based on how I feel. I change based on whatever makes more sense and as of right now, being pro-choice makes more sense.

But to reinstate my point, if you want to sound like an idiot say pro-choicers are “pro-abortioners.” If you want to be taken seriously, the right term is pro-choice.

Influenza

I’ve been sick with the flu for the past couple of days. Needless to say, I feel like crap. The last time I had the flu was 5 years ago and it was no more fun then it is this time around. I don’t get sick very easily either, so I’m a baby when I feel any discomfort. Thank goodness I have a mom and I’m not a mom myself. That kid would be starving right about now.

Why is it that when I start taking care of myself I get sick? This flu is gonna kill the muscles I built up at the gym for the last couple months, for sure. That’s what happened last time… damn it.

I’m going back to bed.

I’m Back

I’ve been back since last Wednesday, I just haven’t been in the mood to write. I have a lot to say, but just don’t feel like saying it. I’m doing okay. Still kind of shocked that my grandmother is not part of this earth anymore, but doing okay. I know she’s okay. I had this weird idea that she had a long, long, long, time before she left us. I was wrong. She was 79. Time passes by so fast… The experience has opened my eyes widely. I can’t say the same about my family… the greedy bastards.

Regarding my last post, I should correct myself for implying that the tragedy of life is death. It isn’t. Life itself has episodes of tragedy, but death is end of our suffering on this earth. My grandmother no longer has to suffer here with us. Now she gets to guide us and laugh at our nonsense…

The Tragedy of Life

I probably won’t be blogging for a little while. My grandmother died this morning. I’m leaving for NYC today; I don’t know when I’ll be back. Life is tragic, isn’t it?

The Dreaded Telephone

I feel like ranting about the telephone today because my father keeps calling me and getting offended when I don’t answer. He knows how I am, yet he insists on calling me to talk for 2 hours about everything his great mind knows and his future diabolical schemes that won’t work, all the while insulting me and my intelligence and other random ENTJ/P crap. Then he wonders why I seem to disappear for weeks at a time. I don’t get him.

Yes, I do appreciate having a father that cares to call all the time, but come on… I can’t help but to be annoyed when I see his number pop up on the Caller’s ID. I know a long, one sided conversation/lecture is coming my way.

Let me be clear. I don’t hate the phone. It’s the people on the other end that annoys me. I hate talking about/listening to bullshit for an hour. I hate small talk. I hate experiencing an uncomfortable silence because someone expects me to gossip about my boring solitary life. To be frank, unless we’re fucking, don’t expect me to give up much personal information.

I don’t mind calling people. As long as I’m calling with a purpose other than boredom and passing the time. I’d rather reread a book, if I’m that bored.

Here’s what I gather from what I read about other introverts and phones:

–If you feel like calling just to talk about other people’s social lives and television, don’t call an introvert. Call someone who cares.

–Don’t get mad if the introvert won’t engage in small talk. Just get to the point. The weather is usually fine and their lives are probably the same unless they mention otherwise. I cannot stress how much I hate small talk. School is fine, work is fine, weather is fine, what the fuck do you want with me?!?!

–Don’t think that they are being rude if they don’t create small talk. I have couple of family members that get mad when I call and immediately ask for who I need to speak to without saying “Hello how are you?” first. How is that rude? It’s being efficient and to the point.

–Don’t get mad if they never seem to answer the phone. I agree that it’s rude, but it usually results from constantly being harassed over the phone with small talk and bullshit. If you frequently call to talk about unimportant bulshit, they’ll ignore it if they’re not in the mood to listen. Leave a message and they’ll return your call if it’s worthy.*

–Don’t get mad if they don’t answer the phone when they know you’re calling for someone else. I have had several family members complain that they know I’m at home refusing to answer the phone. Um people, you’re not calling to talk to me. You’re calling to talk to my mother, who is not home. We have voice mail. Use it. I don’t answer to avoid that bullshit small talk people love to create.

–Telemarketers are the devil. That is all.

*I’m also going to add that not answering is a bad habit on the introvert’s part because someone could be having an emergency. It’s happened to me twice before. Nothing life threatening, but I felt like shit after I found out what they needed. I read on another introverts blog (forgot where) that introverts prefer texting. So if you have permission to text then text. I personally prefer emails and instant messages over phone calls and texting any day. In fact, I met my boyfriend after a month of YIMing back and fourth. Three years later, we’re still together. Aww…the joys of Yahoo…

Parties… Argh!

I have to go a birthday party tonight and I really don’t want to go… but I have to because I want to be nice. I didn’t go to this person’s wedding, so I feel obligated to go to every social event that they throw until my guilt finally dissipates. I’m not looking forward to it. I used to like going to parties strictly because of the food, but all the stress from socializing isn’t worth it. Too many people in one place. Too much of a chance of being asked questions I don’t feel like answering. Ugh.

I think about how I would feel if I were to invite someone to a party I was throwing, only to find they won’t show up. Then I remember I can’t see myself ever throwing a party. The day I throw a party is the day my insanity sets in.

I’m not even bothering to dress up as I normally do for these things. Fuck it.

Introverts and Personality Typing

I was looking further into personality typing today and some of what I found is somewhat disturbing. (If you read this blog, you’ll find that everything disturbs me) I have always known that there are different types of introverts, I think wrote about it somewhere in this mess of a blog, but when it came to specific typing, I never really looked into it. All I knew was that I was some sort of INFP.

I was specifically looking into the introverted iNtuitive types because everyone knows iNtuitive’s are superior in every way, shape, and form. Those are the INFP/J’s, and INTP/J’s. I lurked forums and read descriptions and blogs so I had a better understanding of everyone. Here’s my conclusion:

INTJ- Scary, scary people.* Can come off as somewhat mean. (I say ‘come off’ and ‘somewhat’ to be nice) These are the quiet, evil villains in books and movies. The brains behind any good scheme. The quiet, evil-looking person in your office or classroom (or should I say quiet, straight-faced person?). They are extremely rational and won’t hesitate to debate any nonsense they may come across. They respect the factual truth. They are more likely of the four introverted, intuitive types to be completely anti-social. They don’t care about your feelings and don’t seem to have any of their own. Don’t go to them if you want emotional support. They’ll listen, shrug, and tell you to get over it—as if it’s that easy. Beware.
Note: I didn’t look into it much, but I think ISTJ’s are scarier than them.

INTP-Just like and as scary as the above, except they’re more laid back… and funny. They have a good sense of humor and are likely to hurt the two below with said humor. They’ll probably poke fun at someone who is more sensitive than them, not understand why the person gets hurt, laugh about it, then shrug it off. These people may also be slobs.
Note: One of my old long distance friends is an INTP. She’s a humorous goof-ball, but is insensitive to my poor, poor feelings.

INFJ- A nice, considerate person, who cares about people and their issues. Go to them for emotional support— they actually care and won’t shrug you off like the above two. They are emotional, sensitive, idealist and strive to be perfect. They think of how great the world should be, but isn’t so it bothers them immensely. They may also be passionately religious… unfortunately. They tend to focus on their own beliefs and think everyone else’s beliefs are wrong, but don’t say anything about it because they want to be nice. They also avoid conflict like it’s the plague.

INFP-Like above, except add laid-back slob that never knows what to do. They are playful and have a great sense of humor as long as you’re not hurting their feelings, which is easy. Too easy. They may complain too much about everything and daydream randomly. They may also be seen as lazy. These people are more likely to have been hippies back in the 60’s, along with the ENFP’s. Free love, hot sex, and drugs for all.

Those are just my observations laced with humor, if you haven’t noticed. When I visited each of the forums geared toward these people it seems as if each thought their types were awesome and ruled above everyone else. All of them are wrong except INFP’s. We rule and you know it.

*Scary can be a number of things to me. It can be one or a combination of: 1) Anything I don’t understand and want to avoid for that reason. 2) Anything that bothers me to a certain uncomfortable extent. 3) Anything that brings constant mixed feelings and causes my mind to fight with it self in confusion. 4)Almost any negative feeling. If I don’t feel happy, neutral, or angry then I classify it as a scary feeling. My boyfriend just told me I say “scary” at least once a day.

INTJ’s give me a scary feeling. Why? They’re hard-core and blunt. Feelings don’t seem to be something they care to comprehend nor respect and I’m confused on how to feel about that, though I do respect it to an extent. Feelings/emotions can be blinding and people do need to hear the hardcore truth sometimes and INTJ/P’s do that very well without guilt. Don’t always expect the hardcore truth from an INFP. They’ll try to make it as nice as possible–borderline lying about it. I’m not sure about INFJ’s.

**Adding in, I actually found the INTJ forum the most interesting, the INTP forum the most scary and funny (Note how it says “inferior other types” for their Vomitorium, ha!), and the INFP forum the most boring. <–It seems to be sunshine, sparkles, and lollipops complete with a compliments/hugz thread. Cute, yet somewhat disturbing. Yes, there are more serious topics, but those are boring too. Don’t hurt me.

***I found this great short description of the four introverted intuitive types:

INFJ - cold on outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside

INFP - warm and fuzzy inside and out

INTP - warm on the outside, hard as a rock inside

INTJ - cold and hard inside and out

I don’t think I was too far off then, huh? I found it here so don’t yell at me.